Thursday, 13 December 2012

absolute truths?

absolutetruths?#1: cinderella's glass slipper

there is a dance ball at the palace, the prince dances with a beautiful girl who vanishes at the stroke of midnight leaving behind a glass slipper. the search begins for this elusive mystery guest. what happens next? the prince goes to each and every home in his kingdom, watching closely as the slipper is tried on -before he finds the female foot that fits the glass slipper. it would have been easier to wait for someone to surrender the slipper that was missing. and they live happily thereafter since the prince has finally discovered the woman with a unique shoe size, a nightmare that haunts every shoe salesman! 
how difficult was it, really, to find the true owner of the glass slipper? in any section of society (human) we will find members who have the same shoe size even if they are from the three most prevalent body types, ectomorph (skinny/skeletal/runway models), mesomorph (athletic/muscled/fabio lanzoni) and endomorph (fat/stocky/incredible hulk). there is a strong chance that the females of this kingdom bought their footwear from the resident shoemakers who stocked the popular sizes. the shoe salesman has existed from times immemorial and is the third oldest profession known to man. our immediate ancestors had custom made shoes. the prince should have sent for all the shoemakers, shown them the unique glass slipper and obtained the addresses of all women who shared the required shoe size. he should have, but he did not.  
so why did the kingdom wide search happen at all when the prince would have found the foot that fit the shoe within the first half hour? i think i have the answer. let us think about the origins of the glass slipper. a fairy godmother, while in the throes of creating party essentials (gown, hair & make-up, pumpkin-coach, rat-horses) suddenly with a wave of her wand plucks a pair of glass slippers from thin air. they are magical to begin with. secondly, while the partywear and transport are subject to the midnight curse, the slippers are immune. they do not turn into glow worms, butterflies, hooting owls, mobile phones or whatever the godmother worked with, her magic to perform. 
we can assume that the glass slippers were in a state of constant metamorphosis. they did not have a fixed form while not in use. the moment they were worn, they acquired the shape and size required for a perfect fit. they were created for cinderella exclusively. whenever a non-cinderella tried it on, the slipper changed its dimensions! even if the foot was of the same size as that of cinderella, it was guaranteed that the slipper would not fit. the glass slippers were podiatric shape-shifters!! ergo, the fairy godmother did not magicwand them into existence, she merely took them off and gave them to cinderella. the prince was sent on a long exhausting shoefitting so that he would appreciate his wife more, treasure her company and find her unique. 
and the home-before-midnight-curse? well, that is another absolute truth! 

Friday, 28 September 2012

"the hand that holds an iPhone 5 rules the world"!

is yours the hand that holds the world in the palm of your hand? are you the lucky person who now owns the most coveted gadget known to mankind? have you recently contributed your offering to the forever-bursting coffers of Apple Inc? does a feeling of superiority permeate every cell of your being? have you been colliding with fellow commuters as you ride the local means of transport?  is your presence noticed more than your absence?

if you have answered "YES"! to even half the questions then you are the proud owner of the iPhone 5, a member of the elite club which demands bovine bent of mind, lupine cunning, feline preening and asinine behaviour traits. strange, the acquisition of the most fascinating marvel of the current era should put you in touch with your inner beast!